Things are (sort of) looking up

Ok so everything I listed before is basically still all bad - actually I don't think any of it has really changed at all, except that I realized I left out that my knee has been hurting for a month and it's been FREEZING cold outside. Just wanted to make sure you were all thoroughly informed. ;-)

I hoped things would have died down after our surprisingly successful annual meeting but they didn't - yesterday was even more full of job number one drama. Speaking of... look who's become quite the spokesman!

Andy, getting ready to go on camera!

I've been staying up late to watch the news coverage. Here's our board president.

I don't think there's going to be any escaping job number one drama for quite awhile - at work or at home. So since that's not going to change, I decided to just be happy anyway (or at least try). It helps when you have such loving wonderful supportive friends.

What a better way to start the day that I've decided to be happy again than with partner training with Sarah. Well, it seemed like a great way to start the day, until 35 minutes into training when I looked at Sarah and told her I felt like I was going to throw up. Then 10 minutes after that, while Vinny was having me do pull ups (hardy har har), I got to tell him I was about to throw up. I mean... I know I haven't been working out all that much lately, but seriously? Thankfully I did not throw up - I think Vinny could tell we were both struggling, so he just took it easy on us the rest of the time! Anyway, it wasn't the best training session we've ever had, but I'm still glad we did it.

And now I need to pack up from job number one and head off to job number two. It will be the third time this week I've worked both jobs back to back. No wonder I've been depressed! But the finances are still in need so I need to suck it up and just do it.

This weekend I don't have a lot planned besides working job number two some more and hopefully having a healthy hangout with Sarah. Starting next week my job responsibilities at job number one are about to explode and will only (briefly) let up at the end of February... right in time to start running again! Oh yeah... sometimes I forget I am a "runner." ;-)

Have a good weekend!

Hole of despair

My world seems black. I realized the magnitude of my despair last night while I couldn't sleep. I'm not writing this to prompt a bunch of comments on how I'm a good person or how everything will be ok, because I know I'm a good person, and I know somehow these things will work themselves out, but making lists makes me happy, so I'm going to make a list of everything that is awful right now.

- I came back from Washington sick. I am still not 100% better. I'm tired of breathing through my mouth and having a headache everyday.

- My boobs hurt. Sorry I know this is TMI, but they've been sore for almost two weeks now. The last thing I want to do is stuff them into a sports bra and jump around, so that plus the sickness has killed my motivation to workout. I also wake up every morning drenched in sweat. Sore boobs plus waking up sweaty has got to mean my hormones are whacked out right now, which of course makes me super nervous since I haven't had a period since I started training for the marathon.

- No period means I should take a test just to be safe, but those things cost about $10, and I only have $14.55 in my checking account right now, and I have to get gas after work if I want to make it home. So you can imagine that since I only have $14.55, I'm pretty stressed-out financially. Side note: It is usually not that bad, but I have been living off of my furlough paycheck for the last two weeks... thankfully I get paid tomorrow.

-  Job number one is a complete disaster and I cannot escape it. I go to work... all of my coworkers are on edge (and that is putting it very lightly for some of them). I talk to Anna and Lisa, they are stressed about it. Then I go home, and Andy is stressed about it. And it all makes sense, but I can't escape it, and the problem is the issue is so "intoxicating" that it's hard not to get swept up and emotional about it. Things are especially stressful since our annual meeting is today. Talking about it last night got Andy and I both so worked up that we just spent all night yelling at each other and now we're barely talking... all about whether or not a staff member should have expressed their stress over setting up a table last minute. Stupid. Yet I was so mad I didn't even start to fall asleep until around 2:00am.

- Job number two is not great either. While I was in WA our boss was basically fired, and now we have Marcia as our supervisor, which is definitely for the better, but change is always a little tricky. I can tell not everyone is completely on board, and even though everything is fine as far as I'm concerned, it's a little odd to leave a job one way, and come back to it totally different without any warning. Not to mention, we get paid garbage there because they consider our free membership compensation for the work we do... oh except we're barely allowed to use the club right now since it's so busy and they've restricted the hours we're allowed to work out. Plus did I mention I work at the front desk so when it is 7 degrees outside and the front doors open over and over and over again, it is FREEZING up there? Yeah job number two isn't so great...

- My parents are falling apart. Actually I think they're maybe starting to get better, but I'm upset they are falling apart and feel so guilty that I am not around to help. My mom's first day back to work was yesterday and I know she was exhausted and is in a lot of pain now. I wish she could stay home and keep resting her leg. Then my dad has been having arm pain for awhile... he had a doctor's appointment to determine whether or not he needs surgery - I guess right now they are just going to try giving him a shot in his neck in hopes that it will take away some of the swelling.

- My Seneca7 Relay has become a living nightmare. There's no way to resolve it without making someone upset, and as all of the people doing it are people I care about, it means I'm going to have to upset someone I care about. If only I could win the lottery so I could take everyone's financial concerns away - and then also find a 7th runner who everyone loved, well then it would all be fine. But it's not all fine. Honestly, I wish I had never signed us all up for it in the first place.

- My productivity level is pathetic. I try to lose myself in the magical world of Pinterest to pretend that everything is happy and fine. But instead I don't get anything done, and then I feel more despair because I'm failing at getting my life in order at home and feeling like a lazy failure at work.

- I feel ugly... I haven't been tanning in weeks so I feel pale and feel like my skin is more gross than normal (honestly tanning seems to help my complexion a bit). Since I'm gaining weight by the second (more on that in a minute) I'm back into my fat pants and worrying about finding shirts that don't cling. And now that I'm back at work, I'm back to wearing uncomfortable shoes that I don't even think are cute. I. hate. work. shoes. And then there's my hair... I haven't had highlights or a trim since a few weeks before the marathon. My hair is all scraggly and grown out and looks bland and boring. Plus my eyebrows are unruly and I always feel like it is impossible to look pretty without nice eyebrows. But a brow wax and trip to get my hair done cost much more than the $14.55 I have right now, so those things will have to wait... probably for a long time.

- Which brings me to the card that trumps them all. Food. Who makes me feel better when I am sick? Food. Who makes me feel happy when my boobs are sore? Food. Who makes me not worry when I'm freaked out about money? Food. Who distracts me at both jobs from all of the work drama? Food. Who comforts me at home when I'm upset? Food. Who makes me forget that I even have a relay race to worry about? Food. Who soothes me from feeling like a failure when I get nothing done? Food. Why am I saying "who" and acting like food is a person? Because to me it is. Food is my friend. I know I have wonderful friends and amazing parents, but when I feel like I'm in the pit of despair I feel so alone. Food is my friend. But food is also my enemy. I thought the day I'd get engaged would be the day the pounds would melt off and I'd become the thin person I used to be when Andy and I first met. Nope. Instead I've just managed to gain and gain and gain. And honestly, if everything I listed above weren't there to list... if everything was going great... I would still feel despair over stuffing my face with food. So you see... food is my enemy too.

God that was all very depressing. I'm sorry you had to read it all, but like I said in the beginning, I wrote it more for myself to get it all out of my system rather than to seek sympathy from you folks who've got life a bit more together than myself. I don't think getting it all out of my system will magically flip my happy switch - I'll have to work on it all a little at a time. And then wish for a dash of luck/inspiration/motivation too.

Whenever I was little my mom used to make me say two nice compliments about someone if I said something mean about them, so I will end this post with two happy things that I am enjoying in life right now.

1) New sheets. I got new sheets from IKEA during their after Christmas sale. Not only were they cheap, but I finally put them on the bed this weekend and I really really like them.

2) Rebecca rescued a house plant that was left for the garbage man on the sidewalk and is kindly giving it to me! Rebecca's Aunt Hoag just passed away (she was 91, a good long life) so in honor of her, I am naming my new plant "Plant Hoag." That joke makes me smile. :-)

Plant Hoag

Andy's Birthday Weekend

He's 30!!!!!!

Andy's birthday celebrations spanned an entire weekend, as they should - 30 is a big deal! Birthday part 1 began Friday night. Anna, Lisa, Rose, Bipul, Will, Andy, and I all had dinner together at Espada, a new Brazilian steakhouse in town. My parents took Andy and I to a similar place in Seattle once and we had a lot of fun, so we've been itching for Espada to open so we could give it a try. It didn't disappoint!

Will's going in for the kill!

In case you've never been to one of these places, here's a quick overview. Everyone gets to enjoy a salad bar that is definitely more involved than your standard salad bar. From there you choose what "level" you want to order - your level depends on what meats you are offered. The rest of the night is spent getting table-side visits from guys carrying different skewers of assorted meats, and when you see something you like they shave off a piece for you.

Will, Andy, and Bipul all ordered the "Gold"

The ladies went with the "Silver"

I don't think I need to see anymore red meat anytime soon!

I am happy to say I tried the salmon, and sad to say I still don't like it. Of all of the different meats we tried, all of the different creative options at the salad bar, do you know what my favorite part of the whole meal was? The mashed potatoes. They were so good!!! Since it was a birthday dinner, we of course had to order dessert. We all got different things and tried each others. All of the desserts were really good.

I especially enjoyed my churros!

Saturday was a mix of work and play. I worked job number two in the morning, then ran around getting food and drinks for Andy's birthday party. I even managed to score a bottle of the wine being served at the Inaugural Luncheon, which I thought was pretty special.

I must say the party was a success - even Elvis came to the party!

He's on the guitar o' popcorn!
(which we are now using as a piggy bank)

We played "The Game of Things" (thank you Katie and Scott for getting it!) - I think this is the funniest game of all time. Sadly Lisa wasn't able to come because she got sick after getting home from Espada (no, we don't think Espada made her sick), but her sickness turned out to be quite the source of inspiration for our game...

The prompt was: Things you wouldn't want to clean...

Poor Lisa! Here are some other pictures from the game...

Bipul deep in thought
(apparently holding a pen to his nose helps his creativity)

Rose also deep in thought... ;)

Scott - raising his hand; what a good sportsman!

There will be more game nights in our future - I'm sure of it!

Sunday was the actual official birthday. After sleeping in and being lazy for awhile, I took the birthday boy out for breakfast.

They had trivia at our table - he did very well!

The rest of the day was spent in Buffalo. Andy's mom made dinner and both of his grandmothers made the trip out to celebrate with him, which was pretty special. :-) I must say Andy handled turning 30 with grace. I hope I manage the transition as well as he did.

Monday... drumroll please.... the office was closed!!!! I spent my morning at the gym with Sarah watching the Inauguration. Then I honestly spent the rest of the day in a sad mopey funk. My beautiful Seneca7 Relay I thought I had organized is all falling apart and at this point, I'm not feeling very convinced it will happen. Sooo I tortured myself by going through all of my 2012 race pictures (thinking I was being productive but really it all just made me even more sad because I remembered how fun all of the races were, and know how fun the relay COULD be, and then thought about all the fun I probably wouldn't be having because it's probably not going to work out). :-( But once I laid out all of the races I'd done last year, I must say I was pretty impressed. I ran a lot last year...

13 races in 2012

If you've read all the way to here, I must say I'm very impressed! Thanks for sticking through this post with me. Now I'm back at job number one... have to go to job number two soon.... I've already had a baddie that I wasn't planning on... so I'm not having a good day. Tuesdays are never my favorite days, and job number one is having their annual meeting tomorrow which has the potential to go up in flames. I know I'm already stressed about tomorrow, and tomorrow isn't even here yet! I really need to get a grip.

Ode to Rebecca

My life has not been very exciting this week. I've been super sore from training on Tuesday morning, the yucks have returned (seriously, how long will this sickness last), I've been eating tons of crap and gaining back all the weight I worked so hard to lose... I haven't even been tanning in weeks so I'm pale and gross.

Rebecca, however, is owning life. I'm sure you all have gathered by now that Rebecca is my best friend at job number one. Job number one is completely miserable when she is not here. Soon she will be gone putting herself through another torturous round of conducting auditions. I'm not looking forward to her absence. But before the whirlwind of auditions takes place, Rebecca is owning life.

When I think back to going through grad school auditions, I remember staying up ridiculously late filling out applications, making "down to the wire" trips to FedEx, crying a lot, practicing a ton, and I'm pretty sure there was lots and lots of sweating (and clogged toilets, but that's just going too far).

Was I working out? No. Is Rebecca working out? Yes.

She goes to the gym, she goes to boxing, she lifts weights at the office,
and she beats me everyday in our "fitbit" competition. 

Was I having afternoon tea each day at 3:00? No. Is Rebecca? Yes.

She's sophisticated!

Was I conducting concerts for a non-profit that I created and run? No. Is Rebecca? Yes.

I saw this advertisement for her concert in a local deli!

This weekend is Andy's 30th birthday. WOW!!! There will be festivities left and right, but come Monday I really truly sincerely hope to get back on track with my life. I haven't felt "in control" of things ever since coming back from Washington, and honestly - I usually struggle whenever I get back... I'm sad, I miss my parents, I miss having vacation and free time. But come Monday! It's time to get back on track, and I will be using Rebecca as inspiration, because Lord knows if she can own life while preparing for auditions, then there is noooo reason I can't at least give it an effort. :-)

How will I change the channel when my arms fall off?

I must type quickly because there is no telling how much longer my arms will work. Sarah and I had partner training this morning with Vinny, which turned into an hour long kettlebell workout.

Evil "Turkish Get Up"

My limbs want to fall off of my body. I had to take a break drying my hair this morning because my arms were too tired to continue. Going down the stairs of the parking garage was tiring. Going DOWN! Imagine when it's time to leave and I have to go UP the stairs.... Why am I so wiped out? It's like I've never worked out before. Sarah said she'll probably be tired later, but her limbs don't want to secede from her body like mine. What is wrong with me? I haven't been working out nearly as much or as hard these last two weeks since I've not felt 100% healthy, but it's not like I've done nothing! Maybe I am having sympathy pains from watching The Biggest Loser last night. ;-)

Well... it's been awhile since my last update, so here's a quick recap of what you've missed.

Friday: Did not clean all the things. Instead I ate baddies while watching Say Yes to the Dress. I did manage to empty the trash and do the dishes.

Saturday: Worked job number two, ate more baddies, took a nap, then went to job number two's holiday party. It was fun, but not quite as fun as last year's - not as many people came, there was only beer (no wine), and there were no prizes (I always look forward to a chance to win a gift card!). I'm glad we were able to meet up with Andy at a bar afterwards though - he had a concert so couldn't go to the party.

Kristin, Katie, and Giant Babs

Sunday: Slept in - in fact stayed in my pajamas until 1:00pm doing laundry, cleaning some of the things, and reading a book. Then Andy and I ventured out to see The Hobbit. It. was. so. bad. We both thought it was bad. I was actually pretty disappointed because I've read all of the Lord of the Rings books and actually enjoyed the movies a lot (yes I know, this makes me a giant nerd). The Hobbit movie was just laughable compared to those other movies. Please... save your money. Don't see it. Thankfully my faith in visual media was restored that evening since Downton Abbey was on. Amazing! Poor Lady Edith. She's not even that ugly anymore, and things still just never go her way. :-)

Monday: Job number one, Zumba, The Biggest Loser. Solid day.

Now that I've caught you all up I'm realizing I'm becoming quite the TV watcher. But I love Downton Abbey and the Biggest Loser, and really... now that I'm engaged can't watching Say Yes to the Dress count as "research?" I guess this is what happens when you don't have money to go out... at least I have enough to pay the cable bill, otherwise I'd really be in trouble!

Babs feels blah

Last night's press conference was quite interesting. Side note: While I was typing that, I actually started typing "stress" conference. That should tell you something... Andy and I both attended - by the time we got out of there, Zumba had already started, so instead of dancing out my frustrations, we headed to the Elmwood Inn. Back at home we wound up staying up late trying to catch the press conference on the evening news. Stress + Eating out + staying up late... I turned into a food monster. Today is not going much better. Once I get a taste, I can't stop! And tomorrow is Job Number Two's holiday party. I'm going to try to get my life in order by Sunday so that I can get back on track before things get too far out of control.

One exciting thing from the press conference - my picture is in the paper today!

I'm in the white coat - that is the back of my head!

Notice I am the only one not clapping. That was on purpose. See the person leaving? That's our ex-music director. I hope he keeps walking and doesn't stop until he gets back to Vienna. It's amazing how one person can create such a mess. 

Anyway, this morning I had the pleasure of picking up Chris Botti at the airport and taking him to his hotel. For those of you that don't know, Chris Botti is sort of the "Kenny G" of trumpet.

Chris Botti

My job used to be driving the guest artists around, so it wasn't a foreign thing for me to do. Thankfully he fit the mold for guest artist behavior. The more famous the person, the nicer they are. The no-namers are HUGE a$$holes. I could list several who I'd wish uncontrollable diarrhea on. But the well known ones - super easy to deal with. Quiet but friendly. Thank you, Chris Botti, for not being evil. 

So the rest of my night/weekend... 

Tonight I hope to make some quality progress getting life in order while watching Say Yes to the Dress (I've loved that show even before getting engaged, but now it is especially exciting!). Ideally, getting my life in order would include: finally unpacking, cleaning all the things, going through all of my clothes with a super amount of will power to get rid of things I don't wear or that don't fit, reorganizing the remaining clothes so that everything has a place (separated by season), ironing all of those clothes so that everything is instantly ready to wear, cleaning out the fridge/cupboards and stocking them with all of the healthy foods I need to cook all of my pre-determined healthy meals (because obviously I would have my meals planned out as well), and prepping several ingredients so when the time comes to make a meal I'm already halfway done. Piece of cake right? 

What will I more likely accomplish tonight? Empty the garbage, wash the sheets, unpack one of two bags, and maybe try on a few pants, get sad that they don't all fit, then lay on the couch in my PJ's (without hanging the pants back up, of course).

Saturday I work at job number two... then our associate holiday party. Last year's was really fun so I'm looking forward to it, although Andy has a concert and can't go, so I'm bummed about that. Sunday is pretty quiet thankfully, so if I don't accomplish everything tonight, I'm sure I will be able to make some more progress then. ;-)  

PS - Kate Middleton's first official portrait was revealed today. I'd just like to go on record that I don't like it at all.

Bionic Woman

Ready for surgery!

My mom's surgery was yesterday and according to my dad, everything went very well. She is a bionic woman now!! In addition to titanium in her neck (she got that a few years ago) she now has steel in her ankle. Airport security is going to love her! Unfortunately she had to stay over night to monitor the pain. My dad called late last night saying she was in a lot of pain and that they did a "nerve block" to help her out. Hang in there mom!!!! Now the healing can begin. You will be good as new sooner than you know it!!!

Screws (no that is not a floating screw...it's holding the break together)

Plate

I also suffered some pain last night (incredibly trivial compared to my mom). 

See the teeny tiny split on my knuckle?

It's from boxing!!! I might look nice but looks are deceiving - I am a total bad ass!!! Hahahaha. I showed that punching bag who was boss last night. ;-) Rebecca also cracked me up when she referred to herself as the "Lady Edith" of boxing. You Downton Abbey fans will understand the reference. 

Tonight a group of super evil crazy people are having a press conference related to job number one, so I will be attending in hopes that it will be free entertainment and not make me toooo angry when they spew their uninformed BS to the press. Then Zumba to dance out my frustrations, haha. Should be an interesting night!

All Things Kate

It is the Duchess' birthday today!!!! Which means....

I've decorated my hair a la Kate

I've glued her in my food/exercise journal

I've made her my phone background

I am ready to celebrate! I'm meeting Sue for tea this afternoon which is super fitting since 1) English people drink tea, duh, and 2) Sue frequently sends me a "Kate of the Day" email with pictures of her latest outfits! How would you spend your birthday if you were the Duchess of Cambridge? I'm sure if I was actually her, I'd want to spend it in sweat pants watching bad tv - or doing something else "common" out of the public eye. If I could spend my birthday anyway I wanted... hmmm. Well, my birthday is less than 2 months away, so I better start thinking!

In other news, my mom is having surgery on her ankle today. I know that will not be a fun day at all for her, and I wish I could be there to hang out in her hospital room and play with a wheelchair (what I did the last time she broke her ankle and we went the the ER). But at least once she gets the surgery over with, she can start healing and get back to normal. Good luck today Mom! Friends - send her good luck vibes please. :-)

Weekend Review

Happy Monday friends. It's the first full week of the new year back in my normal routine. You'd think I'd be high on new beginnings and all gung ho to execute life perfectly now. Whelp... so far in 2013 I've gained a pound, still haven't finished unpacking, have been going to bed way too late and sleeping in to make up for it, the apartment is messier than ever, and I have done nothing in the way of planning ahead (you know... figuring out what's for dinner, what I'll wear the next day, packing my lunch the night before....). I did have the yucks though, and that has put a serious kibash on my attempts at perfection. Keep calm and carry on! As long as I wash my hair tomorrow, I will at least be better off than I am today. ;-)

I was still feeling pretty sick, so Friday night was very low key. Andy and I stayed in, made grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for dinner, and watched a movie. We've been living in these pajamas my Mema got us for Christmas. They are nice and warm, which has been much needed lately.

Friday night = pajama night

I went to a Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday morning - down another 1.6 pounds (although I gained all of that back over the weekend). After the meeting it was time for my first day back at job number two. My shift flew by because the club was SOOOOO busy. Those New Year's resolutions were definitely being accomplished on Saturday! Hopefully people will give up soon so we are not so busy! Just kidding. I do really hope everyone keeps their resolutions... maybe they can just meet them when I'm not working, lol.

Saturday night was spent being treated to a delicious dinner at Will and Rose's apartment. It was so nice of them to invite us over to celebrate our engagement. :)

Everything tasted amazing!

Will and Rose were kind enough to let us borrow several books too - although I must say this has been my main problem in going to bed at a decent time. I've started reading "The Princess Bride" and it's so entertaining I'm having a hard time turning out the light. I saw the movie once several years ago and don't remember much of it at all, so I'm really enjoying the book.

Sunday I slept in. Mmmmm. Sleeeeeeep. Then Zumba. Then after the youth orchestra's rehearsal, Andy and I purchased.... a new toaster!!!! Walking through Bed Bath and Beyond was a magical experience because I kept thinking, "Ooo I can register for this, and I can register for that!" But sadly our toaster died and I really like toast, so I wasn't willing to wait to register for one. :-)

Then... the moment I've been waiting for. The return of DOWNTON ABBEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rebecca invited us over for the show. She made a delicious dip for veggies (much appreciated) and then also had wedding cake to celebrate MATTHEW AND MARY'S WEDDING!!! Can I tell you that as much as I loved the show, I was so disappointed that they didn't spend more time showing us their wedding? I had to wait through two seasons for them to finally get engaged. Then wham bam thank you ma'am "kiss me before I get cross" and it's over!

Not exactly my style...

Luckily it looks like Lady Hedith, err I mean Edith will be getting married next episode, but considering the source... I don't have high expectations. ;-)

All in all a great weekend - although I wish I had been a little more productive so that this week started off on a better foot. Keep calm!

I have the yucks

This was not the "Oprah's Favorite Things" show I always hoped to be on... but it seems to be my luck. I am still sick. How can something so beautiful and delicate as myself ;-) be reduced to a pile of snot and Kleenex? Nighttime medicine is amazing, but it makes it super hard to wake up in the morning. Daytime medicine makes me feel better but not good enough. I'm tired of my "n's" being replaced by some strange "d/b" combination, I'm tired of blowing my nose, I'm tired of coughing up surprises (they are not good surprises), and mostly I'm tired of not feeling up to exercising. I was on such a roll!

I also feel bad for Andy. Oh, you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Lucky you, you get a girl who hacks in her sleep, wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, and asks repeatedly if you think she has a fever. Lucky man! I hope this goes away soon...

Nothing is planned for tonight. Probably a date with the Kleenex box on the couch. Tomorrow morning I'm back to job number two for the first time in a long time. I really don't want to go back but I desperately need the money since job number one laid us off for a week. Hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow!

Happy New Year

2013 isn't starting out so hot for the Larson ladies. I've been sick - like, call in to work sick because I actually am too sick to just sit in a chair without dying. But even worse... my mom broke her ankle yesterday when she slipped on a patch of ice trying to go to the gym. :-( I feel so bad for you Mom!! Things can only go up from here!

2012 was quite a year: I ran my first marathon. I got faster and got PR's for both my half marathon and 5k distances. I got a promotion. And of course the latest news of getting engaged! All very wonderful things, although it's hard not to look back at 2012 and see it tinged with my struggles with weight. The year started and ended alright, but there was a huuuuge part (especially the summer which is when people usually like to feel their best) that I was uncomfortable in my own skin.

This year I've not made any specific resolutions (although there are tons I could think of that I'd like to try). My main goal for this year is to.... Keep Calm and Carry On!!! Way too many times I've weighed in the morning... it's higher than I think it should be... I enter the pit of despair... then bury my head in a jar of peanut butter for a solid week until I have an "I can't live like this" meltdown, buy a new food journal, and start over again as the Patron Saint of Baby Carrots. Plus I think the Keep Calm mantra will serve me well as I'll be entering the many phases of wedding planning which I'm sure will prove to be quite the experience.

Lucky for me, the lovely Sue Becker got me the most perfect notebook for Christmas. As I told Rebecca today, I will NOT tear out pages when I slip up and want a "do over." No friends - I will keep calm, and carry on. ;-)

2013 Food/Exercise Journal