Zen Life Club

Hello friends! I'm so sorry I went MIA for so long. I've been here the whole time, doing things like work and trying to learn how to walk again. Sure there's been stuff to write about, but there's also been a game called Candy Crush that has managed to occupy all of my free time. I will try not to abandon my blog in the future.

A special celebration that you all missed: My mom's birthday! She's also Candy Crushing up a storm on her new iPad!

Work has been nutso. This time of year is always sort of like the "final push" for us here at Job #1. Last week alone I had 7 concerts to organize. All for little kids. There were lots of little kids...

That's Schnoodle the Alien - he was a big hit

We also had a concert on Sunday, which means I'm getting to work two weeks in a row without a break. Thank goodness Memorial Day is around the corner!

I'm back at Job #2. It's ok. I really liked not having to go to a second job for awhile. But the money is needed, and I like the people I work with. Plus the free membership. Looks like I'll be sticking it out there for awhile longer (although that first day back was tough).

Now time for my knee update... it's been exactly 4 weeks from today that I had my surgery. I am finally walking without crutches, and for the most part am limp-free, although I have to go much slower than normal. The bandages are off - the incisions are small and surprisingly don't gross me out too much. I've been cleared to use the bike and elliptical (although only for about 5-10 minutes at a time). And my PT appointments have spread out from 2 times a week to once every 2 weeks. Progress for sure! Bending my knee and stairs are still my most obvious challenges.

And now onto the bigger topic of "life." I've been pretty down lately to tell you the truth. Three whole weeks of being on crutches really zapped my motivation for life. It was hard to get around, hard to clean up, hard to make meals, hard to shower, etc. Since those things were hard, I honestly stopped doing them for the most part. I felt dirty all the time, I felt like I was living in squalor, and I ate whatever was convenient - which is typically not healthy. I was in major need of a reboot.

Enter Zen Life Club! Anna, Lisa, and I decided to get together and talk about what we needed in our daily lives to feel good/happy, and then made specific plans for accomplishing those things. I must give credit here to both Rebecca and Sheena for providing inspiration for Zen Life Club.

Lisa and Anna

First Zen Club meeting!

This is day two of "Zen Club." How am I doing? I'm doing GREAT in all categories, except "food." Big shocker there huh? And honestly I am not doing horribly, but I've just gained so much weight since my knee pain started back around Christmas... I know the key is sticking with it, that things can change slowly over time, but, ugh. I'd like to go to sleep and wake up in a month with 5 pounds gone, and THEN I could take over. This is the heaviest I've ever been in my life. It's hard to find clothes that fit and don't look terrible (especially since it has been super hot here and I refuse to show my arms). But I am very thankful for Zen Club. I think it'll help me get back on track. It's probably silly for me to think I'd get it all perfectly on day one. I will keep trying.

Sorry I know that's not the most thrilling post. But I must add one last thing... HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!!! I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!

I'm so excited!

Am I excited because I can shower normally?  No, I still have to sit on a crate and use a cup.

Is it because I feel beautiful? No, this season's allergies are destroying my eyes causing me to wear glasses 24/7. And my nose is not much better off...

Is it because I'm back at work? HAHAHAHAHA. No, definitely not.

Is it because I'm walking? Ok maybe a little... I'm not walking on my own yet, but as of Monday I am down to using only one crutch! Hooray!! That's made a big difference because now I have a free hand and can carry things!

Is it because of Physical Therapy? No... I'm not exactly excited for it, except that it is nice to see the progress I make. Plus they gave me a stretchy band to do my newest exercises that I've been assigned. Who doesn't want a free stretchy band!?

Then why am I excited?

Because in my email today I saw this!!!

GET FIT. HAVE FUN. LOSE WEIGHT.

I'm going to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like the universe knew I needed help getting my butt in gear. It's been so long since I've really exercised - thankfully this program starts in a month, and by then I hope to be a lot more mobile than I am now, so hopefully I can fully participate! As soon as I saw it I mentioned it briefly to Andy and he said he'd do it too. I hope he was being serious. I already have visions of us leading a healthy happy summer makings salads and going for walks, haha.

What else... not a whole lot to report. I'm going back to Job #2 this Saturday. I've REALLY liked not having to work there. :-(  Right now is a very very brief calm before the storm for Job #1 - things are about to get "cra cra" starting Thursday and won't stop until May 21st. Yuck. At least being busy will mean the time will fly - and my weight loss adventures with Fleet Feet can begin!

Making Progress

Slowly but surely I think I'm actually getting better.

This morning I had my second physical therapy appointment. They seemed really pleased at the progress I've made with the crutches and the strength in my quad... they said if I keep practicing we could talk about moving to one crutch on Monday. I sure hope they give me the green light!! For now I'm still on two crutches, but getting around pretty well - I'm just slow.

My PT Place

They had me do the exercises I've been doing at home, added two new ones (one I raise my leg up and down - very hard...the other I use a strap to stretch the back of my leg). And then... I got to go on the exercise bike!!! Now I can't actually pedal for real - my knee won't bend enough. But they had me do "arcs" where I would push the pedal with my good foot in one direction as far as I could tolerate it, and then back in the other direction... sort of like making a half circle with the pedals back and forth. I did that for 10 minutes! Although it was boring, I could tell my knee was bending more at the end of the 10 minutes than when I started. Progress!!! After that they had me back up on the table - they put some electric pads around my knee and zapped me for 15 minutes while they also iced my knee. Supposedly the electricity helps with the inflammation. It was really weird, but if they say it'll help, I say turn it up!!

Now I'm at work - which I drove myself to! It was my first time driving since the surgery. Driving isn't so bad but getting in/out of the car is challenging, and then the "walk" is tough because I don't have a handicapped sticker so I can't exactly park in the most convenient place. They should really give you a handicapped sticker as you leave surgery...

Today isn't my first day back at work. I came in for 2 hours on Tuesday, and have been to one rehearsal and two concerts since then. My entire leg is much happier when I'm not at work. It's hard to elevate/ice it while I'm here, but I do still try...

Icing at work

I must also send a massive huge shout out THANK YOU to all of my friends. You've texted/emailed/called/cooked for me/washed my clothes/encouraged me/listened to me whine... I'm positive I have the world's best friends. Ever. And of course a massive thank you to Andy. I can tell he's getting tired of it all, but he still helps me put on my shoes and will do anything I ask.

I wish that's all I had to report for my week, but yesterday Andy and I made a trip out near Niagara Falls for his grandmother's funeral. Very sad. I didn't know her that well at all, but she attended several Brown family functions and was always very pleasant to be around. Turns out she led quite the busy life and helped many many people along the way. Please take the time to read her obituary - you will see how remarkable she truly was!

Physical Therapy Begins!

Yesterday turned out to be an even busier day than reported in my last blog post. I watched the race, went to lunch, went grocery shopping... and then at night Andy and I headed to Anna and Bipul's to celebrate their half marathon.

Anna, Lisa, Bipul, Lydia, Ben, and Andy

After scooting up a flight of stairs on my butt, Bipul had a rolling desk chair waiting for me! It was a good way to get around!! We had a lot of fun eating Mexican Food (it was an early Cinco de Mayo celebration as well). I had a lot of fun, and was so glad I was able to be included in the festivities, but my foot/leg sure paid for it... even after a night's sleep my foot was still super swollen. For some reason it really grosses me out to see all of my fat little toes all mushed together. Yuck!

This morning started bright and early with my first trip to physical therapy. I was nervous for it and had no problem telling my physical therapist that I was scared and that I got queasy very quickly. First he had me take the wrap off my knee. I've seen it enough times now that it doesn't gross me out quite as much as it did at first, which is good. Then he had me stand and try to put my foot flat on the ground - which I was able to do, but only by sticking my butt out behind me, haha. Eventually I was standing up "straight" (or as close as I could) with my fat swollen foot on the ground.

Next I had to walk down the hall and back practicing putting my foot flat on the ground while using the crutches. It was tough - I got very sweaty! Thankfully by the time I got back to where I started he had me lay on the table, which was veeery good because I was starting to feel nauseous. Then he showed me the exercises I am supposed to do this week and had me practice them.

Ankle Pumps - this one is my favorite

Quad Sets - I don't like this one

Heel slides - this is my least favorite

He had me do one more exercise that involved tightening my quad muscle and then lifting my leg in the air. I couldn't lift it on my own, so he helped me... and then I started crying because it hurt. Thankfully he didn't try to push it, and said we'd save that for another time. And that was the appointment! He thanked me for not throwing up on him, and had me schedule another appointment to see him at the end of the week. Phew!

It's amazing how much you can accomplish in 30 minutes, even if it actually doesn't seem like you're doing a whole lot. Even though I'm told I won't be getting off crutches this week, I feel a lot better about the progress I'll make by putting my foot on the ground. I must be putting more weight on my foot this way because I feel a little less pressure on my hands - which is excellent because my hands really hurt from using the crutches.

That's all for now! I still haven't gone back to work - and apparently the only entrance that is handicapped friendly is going to be blocked off because Spiderman decided to film their movie right outside of my office. Hopefully I can figure out a way to work from home!

First day out

Hello friends. It is Sunday afternoon, which means it has been 5 whole days since my surgery. I will be honest in saying I thought I would be much better off by now than I am. I'm still 100% reliant on crutches (although I'm getting much better at using them). I'm also still super reliant on Andy for pretty much everything.... he's a good sport, but I know he was expecting me to be fine by now, so I'm sure it's trying for him.

But! Breakthrough today! I left the apartment!!! This morning was the Rochester Flower City Half Marathon and I had 7 friends running it. The course goes right by my apartment building, so Andy crawled out of bed to take me outside so I could cheer everyone on. CONGRATULATIONS to Sarah! Katie! Scott! Maddie! Anna! Bipul! Nelson! You are all my hero's for the day. :-)

Once the race was over, I got to leave the house again! Andy and I met Sarah, Jon, and her parents for lunch to celebrate her accomplishment.

Another medal for her collection :-)

Using my crutches to get to the restaurant patio felt like my own personal half marathon. It's amazing how tired I get from using them. After lunch Andy and I decided to go to the grocery store in hopes that they'd have an electric cart that I could drive around. They did!!

By far the highlight of my day

Shopping and Icing

Success!

I've obviously never shopped in an electric cart before. 1) I am a natural electric cart driver, 2) when you back up it beeps - very embarrassing, 3) it's safe to assume no one will look out for you, give you the right of way, understand that you are broken. I have a knew level of sympathy for people who have to use these. The other shoppers make it frustrating, and on top of that, it's hard to reach things on high/low shelves. I'm glad this is only temporary. I couldn't imagine being in a wheelchair for life.

I did meet one very friendly chatty woman near the deli. Turns out she had knee surgery by the same doc that did mine. I asked her how long it took for her to walk again and I guess she made me feel better by saying it took awhile... not that I want it to take awhile, but at least I'm not the only one who wasn't dancing out of the OR.

And now I'm back on the trusty couch with my newly purchased bag of frozen peas working their magic. Whenever I am upright for a short period of time, my left foot/leg starts to turn purple.

See the difference?

And that picture was taken just after a quick bathroom trip. You can only imagine what it's like now after my big outing. But as much as the color change grosses me out, it was really good for me to get out of the house... I felt alive again (even though I was frustrated a lot).

Tomorrow morning is my first physical therapy appointment. I hope they help me learn how to walk again!

48 hours post surgery

It's been a little over 48 hours since I've had my surgery. I'm still on the couch. Today has actually been the most painful day so far.

Several good things to report - last night I was so tired that I actually got a decent night's sleep. And this afternoon I took a 2 hour nap. I get excited when I sleep because they said it's the fastest way to recover. Anyway so that is good. I also got to enjoy the Pocky that Rebecca got me. :-)

Eating pocky while icing

Finally 4:30 rolled around... the time I was allowed to take the dressing off.

The iodine makes my leg look so tan!

That's about as far as I got. Thankfully Andy has a stronger stomach than I do. He took the rest of the dressing off and threw it away while I laid with a blanket over my face. Finally I got the courage to look. I know it's not that bad, but it still really grosses me out.

The big reveal

Finally it was time to take a shower. Yes!! I sat on a plastic crate in the tub and used a cup to dump water all over me. It wasn't the best shower in the world but I sure felt better afterwards. Now it's wrapped back up in a regular ace bandage.

Smaller bandage

It's nice to have more of my leg freed up, but now the ice is a lot colder... which I guess is a good thing.  But man... it sure hurts today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'm allowed to start to put a little weight on it with the crutches now, but I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow. If it aches this much just laying with it elevated, I don't really want to stress it anymore.

That's all for now! Stay tuned for updated progress. :-)

Knee Surgery

Greetings from the couch - my new home for the next few days.

Yesterday day was a day 4 months in the making... knee surgery day! I got the call Monday afternoon that I was scheduled to check in at 1:45 on Tuesday and then would go into surgery at 3:15. I wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight the night before, and was allowed to drink water, apple juice, and ginger ale up until 9:45am.

I tried to make the most of dinner on Monday night. Andy took me to Mr. Dominic's (my favorite Italian place) and I ordered Chicken Parm... I figured that was a massive dose of carbs, protein, and fat, and hoped that would stick around longer. I tried my best to eat as much as I could, but it was hard! I felt disgusting but I was so scared of being hungry the next day, I was determined, haha.

The next morning I tried to sleep in later than normal. I got up around 8:45 - then I made it my job to drink as much water and apple juice as humanly possible. I peed A LOT. I spent the rest of the morning doing a little laundry since I won't be able to do that for awhile. Eventually 1:20 rolled around and it was time to head out.

Andy drove me to the Sawgrass Surgical Center. It was a pretty big place!

Surgery Center

I checked in, then sat in the waiting room with Andy. I was pretty nervous... my hands wouldn't stop sweating. The wait wasn't too long until they called me back. I had to pee in a cup (not a problem since I drank SO much), then they had me change into my hospital gown. And then the moment I was dreading most... the IV. The nurses were really nice. I started crying a little bit just because I was so nervous and while one nurse "did it" the other sat and held my hand and talked and talked - I told her I was getting married so we talked about venues around the Finger Lakes that were nice. Amazingly I didn't pass out. Once that was all taken care of they let Andy come back and sit in the room with me.

Waiting to go in for surgery

I was so glad they let Andy come back because I just laid there for an hour waiting. If I had been by myself I think I would have freaked out, but he did a good job of keeping me distracted. A slew of different people came in during that hour - Dr. Maloney stopped in to say hi, the anesthesiologist came in to tell me what I could expect, the attending nurse came in to introduce herself, and Kim the PA got me set up with my recovery plan and meds.

The Doctor put his initials on my leg...gotta make sure he does the correct knee!!

FINALLY it was time to go in for surgery. It was about 3:45 (30 minutes late). To say I was hungry would be an understatement. First they put something to "relax" me through my IV. As soon as they did it I made a noise and kind of jumped. I could tell they were concerned (I obviously was too). They asked what it felt like and I said it felt like burning - they said that could happen sometimes, so they calmed down (and so did I). Then they started wheeling me back. She asked how I was feeling and I told her I was nervous, but she assured me the meds would kick in soon. They wheeled me into the OR... there was music playing and a lot of people in there. I could tell they were putting a blood pressure cuff on me and putting some monitors on my chest... at the same time they gave me an oxygen mask. It probably only took a few seconds before I was knocked out. Next thing I new I was waking up in recovery.

All done

They let Andy come back again. I was so glad he was there. I honestly don't remember a whole lot, but I do remember the nurse laughed because she said I told her how much I like sandwiches with turkey and mustard and that I was excited to eat pancakes, haha. All true! They also told me I didn't have any sign of a tear or any structural damage, which is great news! That should mean I'll be able to do everything I used to do. They did however, drain a cyst that was the size of a golf ball... bigger than it was in the MRI so it was obviously still "growing." No wonder my knee hurt. A golf ball is pretty big to be in a knee, which doesn't have tons of extra space. They said that could easily be what was causing all the pain. Mystery solved!

Once I was a little more awake Andy helped me get dressed and then they wheeled me out in a wheelchair and got me in the car. As we were pulling into our apartment, Sarah was walking up the sidewalk - she was here to make me pancakes!! What a friend. :-) I didn't write about it in my last post, but Sarah made me a bagel and and PBJ sandwich during the relay, and then she came to make pancakes and eggs post-op. She's a friend and apparently my personal chef, haha. Lucky me!!

COOKIE DOUGH PANCAKES!!

Sarah and Babs :-)

We hung out and watched Jeopardy and The Voice. It was a good night, especially considering I just had surgery. I spent the rest of night on the couch. This was my view...

Leg all wrapped up

I didn't have a terrible night pain-wise, but I sure had a hard time sleeping for a long period of time. My leg feels best with my knee cap pointing towards the ceiling, which means I had to sleep on my back all night long. I typically sleep on my side, so that was not the most comfortable. Hopefully the recovery time will be quick. On Thursday at 4:30pm I'm allowed to take the wrap off my leg and also be able to take a shower. I'm already counting down!

One last thing - a HUGE thank you to all of my friends. Your emails/texts of support really made me smile and helped me feel much calmer. You are all the best. :-)