REDO and T25

Hello friends. Time for an update.

On Monday night I went to REDO for the compulsive/binge eating support group meeting that Seetha suggested I try. Here's my account of that...

I knew ahead of time that there would be a leader and only two other people in the group. When I walked into the room, those people were already sitting around a conference table - so when I came in, it understandably felt like everyone was looking at me. And I felt like a total a$$hole. Why? Because I was significantly thinner than everyone there, including the leader! But I sat smiled, sat down, and we started the session. Since it's supposed to be confidential I'll refer to the people as Leader, Lady, and Man.

We started by introducing ourselves and talking about why we were there. It turns out Leader is an art therapist. So she is trained in therapy, but doesn't seem like she's trained in nutrition. I found that strange. However, she's been with REDO for 5 years, so I suppose even if she's not a nutritionist, she's picked a few things up here and there. While she is very kind and patient, what I didn't like was she didn't talk once about having an issue with food. And clearly she does. But then maybe I need to change my definition of an "issue." She obviously doesn't stick to a healthy diet, but maybe she doesn't have an issue because she doesn't care about being overweight...? Maybe? I honestly highly doubt it. Anyway, moving on. Lady has been obese her entire life and wants bariatric surgery, but her doctor is making her try 6 months of diet/exercise/counseling before he'll consider it, so that's why she's there. Man is 73 years old. His wife died 4 years ago, he still misses her very much and is very lonely, and so he turns to food for comfort.

So.... it was an experience. Obviously my life/struggles are no where near as bad as Lady and Man's. I felt somewhat ridiculous being there, but at the same time I know I still really really struggle, so I deserve help just as much as they do. I also figured they probably hated me for being "skinny," but decided my "gift" to them was showing them that all kinds of people struggle, not just obese people.

Nothing was really structured... it was more of a 'get to know each other' session. I left thankful that my life was way better than Lady and Man's, but frustrated because I was hoping to have another "tool for my toolbox" and I certainly didn't feel like I had that.

 Obviously, I called Seetha as soon as I left. We had a really good talk. :-) She said she knew I would be much thinner than everyone else, haha. But what really hit home with me was when she said I sort of "fall through the cracks" when it comes to an eating disorder. Seetha said no doctor would ever classify me as having a disorder because I manage to maintain a healthy weight and am generally very healthy. But I torture myself mentally, and that's what's not good. It helped me understand why I did/didn't feel like I belonged in the group. So! With all of that said, I'm going to keep going for a few more weeks... see if now that we know each other it gets a little more structured, and therefore helpful for me. And if not, that's ok and I'll stop going.

Moving on! Andy and I are going strong with T25. Well, Andy is so sore he can barely walk, but he is still doing it each morning with me, and that makes me very happy! I'm definitely sore too - it might be a short workout, but it's intense! Only two more workouts until we finish our first week, and then it's time to weigh and measure and see if we made any progress. I can't wait!

And lastly, today is April 16th, which means there are only 4 months until the wedding!!!!! AAHHH!!!! It will be here in no time and there's still so much to do!!! And I have so much weight to lose!!!!!! But in addition to it being 4 months until the wedding, it is also... the middle of April... a time one might consider "Spring." Well... we still don't have leaves on the trees, I currently have my space heater on in my office, and it's been snowing on and off both yesterday and today.

This morning - snow on the roof

Come on Winter!!! GO AWAY!!!!!! Ugh.