Saturday with Seetha

The email response I got from Seetha?

"Meet me at Starbucks at 3:15. Wear light yoga clothes. You'll be home by 6:00."

What????

Ok number 1.... let's just start with how much of an angel she is. My email was so dark and dismal. Anyone could have read it and said, "Suck it up Babs, you're being ridiculous." She didn't do that. Someone who was nice might say, "It's going to be ok, do x, y, and z." But Seetha? Nope. She sacrificed her entire Saturday afternoon to help me. She's hands down one of the most amazingly generous people I've ever met.

So what were we going to do?? I had a lot of ideas. 1) She was going to take me to an eating disorder clinic and show me I am not as screwed up as I think I am. 2) She was going to come over, clean out my cupboards, write a meal plan with me, and take me to Wegmans to make sure I only bought healthy foods. 3) She would take to to a Hindu Temple to meditate.

I was so wrong! Seetha took me to my first Bikram Yoga class. If you're not familiar with Bikram (I wasn't), it is a 90 minute class, 26 poses, and it's as hot as hell (anywhere from 105 to 115 degrees to be exact). She said she didn't want to tell me because she was afraid I would back out, haha. But I was excited to try it - she chose this because it's about the only thing I can do with my knee this week. Ok now prepare to be amazed with her care. She had contacted the place earlier - they had a mat, towels, and water all set up for me. She put her mat right in front of mine so I could copy her. And she had a second instructor do the entire practice next to me so that he could help me with any/all modifications I might need for my knee. Incredible. I felt so cared for. So lucky. See how amazing she is?

Then we went to Starbucks and talked for almost 2 hours. I wasn't home by 6:00... It was more like 7:45pm. She's so easy to talk to. :-) She helped me understand what was bothering me - apparently a night of indulgence can be caused by an internal trigger, but to go down a spiral for several weeks is the result of an outside trigger. My outside trigger right now? The biggest one is not getting to go home and be with my parents for Christmas. I can't express how sad and guilty this makes me feel - I'm trying to be positive and understanding, but it's a big deal to me, and it's hard. Stack onto that the uncertainty of my knee, the uncertainty of both mine and Andy's jobs, the stress of a wedding (mostly dress shopping)... oh and also it's the holidays, so there's tons of trigger foods available everywhere.

Now what? Well let me tell you, there's no way in the World I'm going to not follow her advice after she so generously donated her entire Saturday afternoon to me. I'm going to:

- Meditate twice a day
- Do Bikram Yoga 4 times this week
- Juice Reset of Sunday
- Back to no starch on Monday
- Meet with her on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (she wants to see me frequently and regularly - she says I just need support right now... and she's right).

After I finished up with Seetha, I took a quick much-needed shower, and then headed out to meet Sarah to celebrate Vinny's birthday. :-) It was so good to see her!! I've missed my Sarah time!

Birthday Boy Vinny!

Beautiful Sarah :-)

Babs and Sarah - together at last!

That wraps up Saturday. It was a late night and I was pretty darn drained by the time I fell in bed. But I fell in bed feeling immensely nurtured, cared for, and dare I say... hopeful... for the first time in awhile.

The Bottom of the Spiral

Ok so this title is rather depressing. And honestly the events in my life have not (for the most part) been that bad. So let's catch up, and I'll explain a little more...

We left off with pictures of Kristin from Job #2 on Tuesday. Lots of fun. :-) I'm drawing a blank on Wednesday... went to work, don't really remember what else. Thursday I went to Job #1. At night we had our "holiday desk meeting" for Job #2. 

My fellow deskies

More deskies

Even MORE deskies!

Friday morning I had my appointment at the knee surgeon's office. I didn't know what they would do, but I thought they might do something, so I had Andy come with me. 

Waiting for the doctor

Turns out they don't want to touch the cyst if they don't have too. It's relatively small and very close to a large artery - the reward not being worth the risk. Additionally, my knee pain is more in the front of my knee than the back, so they're still not convinced it's really the cause of my problems. Their best guess at this point? Scar tissue in my knee cap. The solution to fix that? Surgery. Again. I said NO WAY JOSE! Long story short, I ended up getting a cortisone shot (for now). I was SO nervous to have injections in my knee. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I still freaked out....

I got up too fast... on the walk (a very limped walk) to the lobby to check out, I started to feel really weak. Andy and I sat down....then I started leaning on him... my vision was going... game over. I went "vagal." Fast forward to me laying on the floor, a nurse and Andy working to get my coat and scarf off, cold towels being laid on my face and neck, and drinking orange juice through a bendy straw. I feel so bad for the other people in the waiting room - I bet I really freaked them out!!!

Knee full of cortisone

The cortisone was weird. It felt like my knee was blown up like a balloon. And it was numb. Weird. They told me to stay home, take it easy (more because I went vagal, not because of the shot), and ice. Don't need much to convince me!

Well much to my surprise, I got a visit from Rose! She was making a quick trip to the post office, saw my car, and decided to come hang out with me. :-) So what do two girls do on a Friday afternoon? Try on wedding things of course, lol. Elizabeth is letting me borrow her veil and sparkly belt (if they work with the dress I choose it will help save so much money... thank you Elizabeth!). 

Hippy bride Rose :-)

Bride Babs :-)

Ok so all of these things are great and fun (except the shot, but at least that's a helpful thing). But here's what's not great and fun. My inner thoughts and the way I've been treating my body. Except for maybe 3 days, I've been a wreck with food since Thanksgiving. I've gained a little over 10 pounds (less than a month). I go to bed feeling sick to my stomach because I've eaten so much. Then wake up and start all over to see how much I can eat again. Finally on Friday evening I did what I've needed to do for awhile. I emailed Seetha. I had hit the bottom of the spiral, and I knew I needed her help. 

Once again, she came to the rescue.

Kristin McGlamourShots

Attention readers: Kristin expressed displeasure over the picture I posted of her that was taken at my party. I tried to remedy the situation last night while working at Job #2. Now I dedicate this blog post to pictures of Kristin that I'm sure she'll like much more. ;-)

Standing at "Phase 1"

Oops, she caught me!

Getting into the holiday spirit :-)

Ted and Kristin!

Babs and Kristin!

Talking on the phone!!!

Surprise!

Game over... :-(

Notice how we came full circle? This last picture is in the same pose as the picture she didn't like!! ;-)

I also wanted to take part in the picture fun last night at Job #2.

Mwa ha ha

You can tell it wasn't exactly a busy shift....

Move Over Babs

I've been replaced. There's a new woman in Andy's life. Her name is Poco.

Andy is IN LOVE with Poco. It's hard not to be... she is such a snuggly little lovey kitty. Don't get me wrong, Otis is cool too - very inquisitive about his new environment, which I enjoy watching, but as far as Andy's concerned, Poco is all the rage.

Last night - after a disaster filled evening which involved me slicing my finger while opening a cardboard box, burning a different finger in the oven, and dropping and breaking a coffee cup - we went to Trader Joe's to get some food for the week. Wouldn't you know... Andy finds the pet aisle because he wants to get Poco a treat. We bought a can of tuna for cats ($0.49).

So we get home. Does Andy open the can? No. We both think tuna is gross, but I sucked it up and opened the can. Did he dish it out? No. I put a spoonful each into two little dishes. Then what happens? Andy grabs a dish and declares, "I get to feed Poco!" Not fair!!! We each held a dish... Poco ended up coming to mine, mwa ha ha. But yet - this is what 48 hours of cat fostering has done to us - we are now fighting over who gets to give the cats treats.

Otis and Poco - going nuts for tuna

 
This morning I went to the dentist. It was awful. Everything's fine (except that they reminded me I still needed to get my gums checked, noooo), but the last part of the appointment was awful. They slopped on fluoride all over my teeth.... and told me I had to leave it on and not drink anything hot for 4 hours. ?!?!? I hadn't even had coffee yet! Honestly it felt like my teeth were coated in glue. They were sticky and gummy.... it was disgusting.

I had to stop back home before going to work. This is what I found.

Looks like someone's made herself at home

Ok and to not come across as a total cat lady, I'll write quickly about non-cat things. Remember that Elf4Health challenge? Well... I've slacked, but actually managed to do the challenge today: Pay it Forward. I wasn't totally clear on what that was so I read a list of ideas online last night. The result?

Food Donation!

I really can't act like I did much - Job #2 was collecting food, and a few people brought things in after the fact, so I just bagged it up and took it in. I guess that was a lot of effort - just no money, which hey - time is money! Tomorrow's challenge is to pack a healthy snack for you and a friend. I will be doing wonders if I can just manage to bring a healthy snack for myself. My food situation is still horrendous.

Massive Photo Post

Sorry it's been awhile - get ready for a massive amount of pictures. I'll try to keep the rest short.

Wednesday: After work I had a quick dinner at Chipotle with Andy, followed by a movie date with Will and Rose. We saw Catching Fire and it was SOOOOO good. And of course... this followed.

FroYo with Rose and Will!

Thursday: Worked both jobs.

Friday: Took the day off - awesome! Started with a trip to PT.

The latest tape job

I also had lunch with Rose, which was really nice. Then I had a hair appointment. I love my hair dresser, so getting my hair done really just feels like getting to hang out with a friend. :-) Plus she always does such a good job!

Freshly done hair - more low lights this time

Later that night I met up with some coworkers from Job #1 for drinks/dinner to say goodbye to Brian (Friday was his last day - Brian sat in the office next to mine, so I am sad to see him go).

Brian - 3rd in from the right

And interspersed through out all of these activities, I ATTACKED my clothes. My closet and multiple hanging racks are now the picture of sheer perfection. I have finally attained "Zen Closet." I need to take a picture to share.... I also finished decorating our house for Christmas.

So pretty!

Saturday: Job #2. Then got ready for our "All-Encompassing Party!" An engagement, house warming, and holiday party - no stone was left unturned, haha. I think/hope everyone had a good time. I know I did!

Elizabeth and Tara

Andy!!

Shawn S, Lisa S, Laura, and Kirk

Shaun L and Alyssa

Kristin (not wanting her picture taken, lol)

Another Lisa S, Anna, and Rose

Babs and Andy!!

Engagement Ring Cupcakes!!

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of Bipul, Ben, Lydia, Andy A, Will, or Sue, but they were all there too! It was a full house!!!

Andy was so worn out that I found him like this when I was ready for bed...

Sounds asleep - still holding his book.

Sunday: Lazy morning. Had leftovers from the hot chocolate bar I had at our party.

Whipped cream and crushed candy canes... yummm...

Then our two new roommates moved in! Anna and Bipul left for India for their big Indian wedding (SO COOL) - between that and a trip home for Christmas, they're going to be gone for the next month. Andy and I are now kitty cat foster parents until they come back!

Introducing: Otis...

...and Poco!!!

The rest of the day was spent running some errands followed by a quiet night at home. Otis seems to be adjusting quite well...

Helping Andy eat dinner

Loving the bath mat

Poco is still a little shy but she is warming up. This morning she was climbing all over Andy when I came downstairs, so I think she's getting used to us too. It's fun to have little pets around!

Ok, so you're all caught up. I feel it's my responsibility to confess that I have not been exercising or eating according to Seetha's plan. I really need to remedy that as my mom will be here in less than 3 weeks, and we will be wedding dress shopping! I need to "Say no to starch" if I'm going to feel good enough to "Say yes to the dress!"

Typical Tuesday

Greetings peeps.

I am happy to say I made it through my juice cleanse - the second time in my life I've gone an entire day without eating food. It wasn't easy, but it also wasn't unbearable. Towards the evening I was feeling pretty dizzy and I kept thinking to myself, "Why am I doing this again?" But this morning I woke up and felt FANTASTIC. The feeling is almost addictive. I felt so great I thought, "Maybe I should keep going..." It really is that tempting. Of course, the idea of breakfast is also pretty tempting, so I went ahead and ate. :-) I'm back to "normal rules" - no starch and no food after 8pm. I have to remind myself that if I'm strong enough to juice for a day, I'm strong enough to eat food without going crazy. Before moving on from this subject, I want to send a big thank you to Anna, Lisa, and Andy for checking in with me throughout the day, encouraging me, and giving me some tough love to help get me through my day of no food. You guys are great!

I was looking forward to today because I had a lunchtime doctor's appointment with my primary care doc in hopes that he could look over my knee and figure out a way to resolve my issue before the end of the year. 10 minutes before I was about to hop in the car, he called me to cancel my appointment. Apparently he spoke with my knee surgeon, explained the whole 'get this done soon so I don't have to start over on my deductible' bit, and the knee surgeon got it! Supposedly when I go into the knee place next Friday (the 13th) they'll either take care of it then, or will get me set up to have it taken care of asap. I'm still not quite sure what is happening, but at least it seems like people are trying to help me with this now rather than later.

Since I was supposed to be out of the office during lunch, I figured I'd pick something up on my way back to eat. Well... instead I found myself stuck at the office with no food. There are a few places to get a salad around Job #1, but I wanted something hot. Turns out you can get Chinese food with sauce on the side!!

Only used a teeny tiny amount of sauce - healthy!

So that's about all I have to report. Nothing too exciting. Tonight I'm at Job #2, which I am reeeaaally not looking forward to - all of the General Managers will be at the club for a "GM Summit" which means my boss will be out of control and we'll have to be on our best behavior. It sounds exhausting... wish me luck.

One last thing before I sign off. Many of you know that Phoebe (the most precious bichon the world will ever know) will always hold a special place in my heart. Today is her birthday. She would have been 22, which does sound a little silly for a dog. :-)

I LOVE YOU PHOEBE HEIMER!!!!!

That picture was taken when I was probably in 5th grade.... she was playing in the dirt outside and is sitting at the sliding glass door... those little pleading eyes saying "let me in!" I have this picture on my fridge - it's one of my favorite pictures of Phoebe. I know it's weird, but I still say hello to her in her picture - I just miss her so much. Phoebe loved cheese... please eat some cheese in honor of Phoebe today!!

Thanksgiving Fail

Despite Seetha's best efforts, I fell off the wagon. Hard.

Wednesday night I made deviled eggs to bring to Thanksgiving.

They're supposed to be green!

The deviled eggs were really good - you guys should make them sometime. Hard boil the eggs, mix the yolks with….wait for it…. guacamole! It'll be a little dry so the secret secret ingredient you add then is… french dressing! Weird huh? And then a little dash of paprika. Done. Delish. All chopped up and mixed together it would make a great egg salad for a sandwich or lettuce wrap. Just an idea. :-)

Ok so Wednesday night was great, nice and productive. And Thursday morning - amazing.

Super happy (and sweaty) Sarah and Babs

 

Sarah and I did training in the morning with Vinny - followed by the Zumba class she had to teach. Two hours of sheer exercise joy. Day off of work, working out with friends (Lisa and Anna were at the gym too)… even Andy ran to the club, so he was there too. Best morning ever! 

If only the story ended there.

I can sum up the rest of the day, along with the following three days with four letters. F-O-O-D. I was disgusting. But so as not to dwell on it too much, I will leave you with a few pictures from Thanksgiving so you can see other people who are able to handle Thanksgiving without it destroying their lives for the next few days.

Andy's sister, Ali

Andy's mother, Cindy

Andy - ready to eat!

Ben, Lydia, and Rose

(After spending Thanksgiving afternoon/evening with Andy's family, we headed to Will and Rose's for T-day part 2. In addition to more food, we played "Cards Against Humanity." SUPER fun.)

Pretty Lisa :-)

Ok you're caught up. Thanks to some late night texts with Seetha I've been doing yet another juice fast today (Monday). I either need to get my act together or just buy a juicer. Looking forward to regular healthy food tomorrow.