Monday was busy from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. It was actually Andy's brother's birthday (Happy Birthday Chris!). I left immediately from Job #1 to drive with Andy to Buffalo for his birthday dinner. We went to an Italian restaurant. I was proud of myself for getting a cup of soup and a big mixed greens salad with dressing on the side, but it was kind of tough watching everyone else eat pizza and chicken parm (they looked so good). Then we went back to his parent's house for pie... peanut butter/cream cheese/whipped cream pie. It was delicious!!! I only had a little tiny sliver so I got to experience it without going overboard. Overall - proud of my choices and that I didn't entirely deprive myself, but still a challenge.
Tuesday was the same thing, busy from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. After Job #1 I rushed home to change clothes for the first group workout through the weight loss program. This was only a 30 minute workout, but Andy and I got stuck in terrible traffic and ended up missing the first 10 minutes!!! I was so so so upset because I had even gone through the trouble of getting my shift at Job #2 covered just to be able to do it. :-( The workout was ok, but they has us do things like squats and lunges that I had to modify because it hurt my knee (and by modify I mean, just stand there and not bend much at all...). I'm glad I went, but it was kind of depressing.
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| Anna and I doing a wall sit against a tree. Cheezu! |
After Urban Fit (the name of the workout) we headed to Will and Rose's apartment for a rainy BBQ. Anna and I made a pact to help each other eat healthy while we were there. I'm so glad we did that because otherwise I would have had tons of chips - instead I had TONS of veggies. Again, I was proud of the foods I chose to eat, but I still feel like I ate too many of them.
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| Andy, Will, and Bips - grill masters |
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| Andy, Rose, Anna, and Bips - enjoying appetizers |
It was really fun hanging out - certainly better than working Job #2. I just wish I weren't constantly worrying about what I'm eating in situations like that. Oh well.
So here I am today. At Job #1 again. Honestly I'm feeling pretty down. After work I have to go to a graduation party for my intern (being catered, so lots of food), and then to the front desk meeting (where they always have pizza and cake). Once again, I won't get home until basically bedtime, I won't have done any exercising, and I'll be surrounded by unhealthy food temptations. I should feel lucky that I have so many things going on... I do like to be busy. But I just wish there was a pause button so I could go buy toilet paper, put my laundry away, make a meal (I haven't had dinner at home in a week), and you know... exercise or something so that I might be able to lose a freaking pound one day. Or I need a pause button and a thousand dollars so I can go to the mall and buy new clothes that actually fit the size I am now. Either way, I'm not happy with my current status of size and available clothing - and I'd prefer to change my size rather than my clothing. But I feel like that's never going to happen unless I can get all of this bad party food out of my face. Or maybe I just need to say screw it and gain a bunch of weight and stop caring. Except I will always care. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Blah. I need to stop writing because it's just making me feel more sad. I will update again tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to report that I resisted temptation at both fatty events tonight, and then since nothing is scheduled tomorrow, maybe I can have a sane day. Wish me luck...
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