Here we go again...

Remember this room?

Today was my "final" follow up appointment with the knee surgeon. I put "final" in quotes because it looks like I'm not quite done yet. A long time ago they told me I could cancel this appointment if I was feeling fine and had no complaints. I had high hopes of cancelling, but I've still been experiencing occasional pain, as well as some rather frequent popping in the back of my knee. While the pain and popping aren't desirable, I figured that when I went in they would tell me, "Oh that's completely normal... it'll keep healing and go away."

Well...

The problem is my original issue wasn't normal, so they don't exactly know what is normal or not post-surgery. They were concerned with the pain and popping, but they were also concerned with the discrepancy between my left and right leg - something I hadn't even noticed. 1) My left calf is noticeably smaller than my right. 2) My left quad is noticeably weaker than my right. 3) My left knee is very sore and tender to the touch (not an issue at all on my right).

Now what?

One week from today I'll go back for another MRI. This will help resolve any questions about what kind of scar tissue I have now and whether or not there's any indication that the cyst is returning. I'm also going to return to physical therapy to see if there's any sort of muscular imbalance they can help me with. With the MRI results and a report from my PT guy, my surgeon will then decide how to proceed - currently it looks like the options would be more PT (if the MRI turns out ok) or cortisol injections in my knee (if the MRI is not ok). They assured me a second dose of surgery would be the last possible step and that they'll do everything they can in hopes it won't get to that point.

How do I feel?

Honestly? 1) Relieved. I mean, obviously I wish my knee felt perfect now, but since it doesn't, I'm glad we are taking concrete steps to determine what is going on - much better in my mind than waiting to see if it fixes itself. 2) Concerned. It's going to cost a lot more, and if it comes to needing an injection... well lets say, I'm pretty scared of that. 3) Annoyed. I first started having knee pain around Christmas of last year. COME ON! I'm ready to move on!!!

Another quick update - I'm a mess with food. I can't stop eating crap (and mostly it's weird crap). I am chalking it up partly to being alone (Andy's gone in New Mexico), but mostly due to anxiety about my trip to Chicago tomorrow. I know Sheena's wedding will be so fun, but I am very nervous about being alone in a place that I'm completely unfamiliar with, without transportation, without control of what I will eat most of the time, without knowing how much it will all cost (but anticipating it won't be cheap)... I know it will be fine once I get there, but this "lead up" time has me in a total state of anxiety. I just hope my bridesmaid dress (which I just had taken in) still fits on Saturday...

At least I haven't caved completely - still haven't had a Diet Coke since September 8th.