BuddhaBabs

Alright I'll be honest, I haven't been feeling all too "zen" lately, but I did go to meditation class on Wednesday, so I think I have enough credit to title this entry BuddhaBabs. Let's catch up...

Tuesday night I worked at Job #2. In the middle of my shift we had our monthly front desk meeting. While I really enjoyed the chance to sit down for awhile during my shift, I did not enjoy seeing everyone else eat pizza. Granted, I actually liked the dinner I packed, but it was most certainly not pizza. During the meeting we played a game... which my team won (woohoo!), and our prize was chocolate covered pretzels covered in mini M&M's. Not Seetha approved. So things were fine, but I was feeling a little bit irritated...

Wednesday was Job #1... I can't even remember what happened, but I do recall feeling incredibly cranky in the afternoon when I couldn't have my Diet Coke. My only saving grace that day was Andy agreeing to go to meditation with me (I wouldn't have gone alone). The class was a lot more enjoyable this time. We started with singing the songs (still like that part), then had a seated meditation (I'm going to guess it was about 20-25 minutes)... this time my mind was a lot calmer, and when I started to think of different things, I'd concentrate not on my breath (because I didn't want to pass out again) but instead I started at the top of my head and worked down to my toes trying to relax every muscle in my body. It worked well! Not sure if that's a "real" technique or not, but it worked for me.

After the seated meditation and a 10 minute break, we watched a streamed video of Anam Thubten - a buddhist teacher. I really liked watching the video... he had a great smile!

Anam Thubten

His main message was that we cannot transcend our biology, and trying to do so is inflicting violence upon yourself. It was a good message for me - I need to try to stop fighting my body so much... I know it creates internal violence for myself. And of course, hopefully by being more at peace with my current physical form will help me to lead a healthier life (and then that physical form will change!). He also talked about how:
- to be human is to live a life of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows... you have to have both
- you should not try to transcend the ordinariness of daily tasks, because those are part of being human

All in all good messages, and I went home feeling less angry that I couldn't have a Diet Coke or eat ice cream (since I'm not having dairy after 4pm). What I DID have was a healthy dose of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!!!" Mama June and Sugar Bear tied the knot, and I loved every second of it.

Here comes the bride!

My favorite part of their wedding was when they cut the cake. Instead of feeding Sugar Bear, Mama June just started feeding herself! I couldn't stop laughing.

On to Thursday. Thursday was HARD. Job #1 was really busy and full of annoying people, including an old lady volunteer who kept farting in my office!!! Not to mention we had a birthday cake celebration for two people in the office, so I had to stand and watch everyone eat cake... :( It looked so good. Then I couldn't have a Diet Coke... more sadness/anger/frustration. Then I had to go work Job #2... more frustration - it was actually fine while I was there, but I just didn't want to have to go in. After I finished at the front desk I went to Sarah's Zumba class, but struggled because I wasn't feeling very energetic and my stomach hurt (guess it's a bad idea to eat beef jerky and a banana right before class). When I got home I had a good talk with Andy. He encouraged me to keep going with Seetha's plan. I needed the encouragement for sure.

And now today is Friday. Right now I'm eating sugar snap peas instead of the donuts that are in our office kitchen. I seriously feel like I'm trapped in a world of temptation sometimes, this week being worse than most. However I just got a text from Seetha and we will be meeting again on Sunday. I know I will be able to stick to her plan until I see her again and learn the next steps of my journey.

In the meantime I need to focus on other things besides how much I want a Diet Coke. I've realized I'm getting behind on my wedding planning tasks, so that will be something to work on... and also unpacking (much less fun).